Friday, May 30, 2008

Vicary for Veep

We Need a Chess Coach in the White House

While the mainstream media are preoccupied with side stories like the presidential election and Scott McClellan’s new book, the majority of Americans have turned their attention to a more pressing issue that has erupted in the blogosphere, namely: How awesome is Elizabeth Vicary? Is she totally awesome or just awesome?

People disagree, and they are arguing the question passionately all over the Internet.

Okay, to be entirely truthful, the debate so far has been confined to Elizabeth’s own blog, but savvy trendspotters that we are here at Castle Kimbark we know how to recognize a meme that’s about to go nuclear viral. (You’ll recall that right after we mentioned the chess hookah thing awhile back it took off and became one of the top stories of the year. You do remember that, right?)

Elizabeth has a lot of supporters, and they have praised her lavishly. But we think she deserves more. So today, we are officially endorsing Elizabeth Vicary for Vice President of the United States and urging our Hyde Park neighbor Senator Barack Obama to name her as his running mate.

We realize that Elizabeth’s nomination may be a long shot. The pressure on Obama to name a conventional politician must be strong. Elizabeth’s name has not appeared on any of the VP short lists that have been floated in the media, and what’s more, we suspect she may be constitutionally ineligible to serve. She’s probably too young to be vice president (you have to be 35), and I seem to recall reading she was born in the U.K., another disqualifier.

So what? Amend the Constitution already—what’s the problem? It’s been done plenty of times before, and besides, there’s something deeply flawed about a system that allows Dick Cheney to be a heartbeat away from the Oval Office but not one of the top chess coaches, writers, and players in the country. We’re Americans, doggonit, and when we see something wrong in our political system we fix it, don’t we?

Our voice here at Castle Kimbark should not be the only one, of course. The people should decide, and for that purpose we’ve started a poll at the right. Please vote your conscience, but above all, vote.

Disclaimer Boilerplate (legalese):
For the record, this endorsement reflects the considered and unanimous judgment of the entire Castle Kimbark Editorial Board. It is made freely and without quid pro quo. It has nothing to do with the fact that Elizabeth links here from her blog. Nor is there any truth to the suspicion that in taking this step we hope to curry favor with U.S. Chess League Commissioner Greg Shahade, a major Vicary booster, just as the new USCL season approaches. And certainly there is not an ounce of truth in the ludicrous idea we are hope to surpass Chessdad64 in the Chicago-area competition to
kiss up to a major chess celebrity. Finally, and above all, we are categorically not doing this in a craven attempt to attract attention, traffic, and links to this blog. Perish the thought, and shame on all of you for thinking such things.


Elizabeth Vicary said...

Wow, I'm speechless.

But I'll work on that...

Thanks! You made my week.

Tom Panelas said...

You're welcome, Elizabeth. You have many fans our here in the Midwest.

Anonymous said...

This is a breaking story here in the Western U.S. Or at least at my house..

Cutting edge stuff!

Ok, I really don't know who she is, but if the entire editorial board at Castle Kimbark is in favor, then so am I...

Besides, a Chess player in the White House, Hmmm.. Someone used to "Actually" solving problems, Someone whom does not squander fortune.... Yup I'm In!